The Lies We Tell Ourselves

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By Angela Escobar

According to the famous psychotherapist Dr. Albert Ellis (1913-2007), there are 12 lies that we frequently tell ourselves.   These lies are so commonly repeated and believed with such conviction that they practically invade every fiber of our beings, making it difficult for us to function in society and most importantly, with ourselves.  We are unable to build on a foundation made of falsehood and inaccuracy.  We need the concrete truth in order to start building something sturdy and stable in our lives.  So…what lies are you telling yourself right now?  

1. I must have the love and approval of others. I must avoid disapproval at all costs.

2. I must be perfect, a success in all that I do. I must not make any mistakes.

3. People must always do the right thing. When they do not, they must be punished.

4. Things must be the way that I want them to be – otherwise life will be intolerable.

5. My happiness (or unhappiness) is caused by external events. I have no control over my happiness (or unhappiness).

6. I must worry about things that might be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening – otherwise they might happen.

7. I will be happier if I can avoid life’s difficulties, unpleasantness or responsibilities.

8. I am weak and need to depend on those who are stronger than I am.

9. Events in the past have strongly influenced me – and they must continue to do so.

10. I must be upset when others have problems. I must become sad when others are unhappy.

11. I should not have to feel discomfort or pain. I must avoid them at all costs.

12. There is one right and perfect solution to any problem (usually mine). It is a tragedy when it is not found.

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This entry was posted in Life, Philosophy, Psychology-General, Self-Help, Self-Improvement and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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