By: Angela Escobar
Empowerment is finally realizing that I have a choice. I finally have access to my freedom.
I am no longer bound to what you think “it” should be. I no longer have to feel bad for being me. I no longer have to fit into your mold of something, of someone I am not. At first, I didn’t have a choice. I was “born into” your values and beliefs, and it’s the realization that I don’t have to carry these values with me. I found that I can have my own values and beliefs. And I no longer have anything to prove to anybody. It’s like breaking free from that bondage that was holding me back all these years. I can see that I no longer have to give others the control over how I feel. Everything is in my hands, and I have the power to make myself happy. I get to choose how my day goes every single day. All this time…and I never knew I had the power to stop and say: “This is not how my story is going to end”. This is how it was, but it doesn’t have to keep going that way, and it sure as hell isn’t going to end that way either. I had to break away and distance myself in order to find myself here. It took all this time. I took so much time. Why couldn’t it have happened sooner? Because there was no better time for me than now. Now is the time. All of it was a process I had to go through. And it’s in the process that we learn. The more I have to look back on, the more I have to learn from. I know you can’t stand to see that I’m becoming more & more free as each day passes. As I keep pulling away and tearing away from all the bondage that kept me down, that kept me low, that kept me feeling less than dirt. I thought I was soaring high above but I was really on my knees. You loved seeing me struggle every day. You knew I was falling, slipping away and you did nothing to help me out of that dark place. There was a time when I did not know if I was going to make it through, and I had to put myself in survival mode. I existed for a long time. But I had myself. I had my strength and determination. I had this…will to survive. And it was bigger than myself, even though I did not—could not—realize it at the time. I never knew I could be so strong and resilient. I didn’t know my own strength. I made it through. I met people who knew that all I needed was a chance, that I could be so much more, who saw something in me, who knew that…despite all I had been though, despite how broken I felt…I still had something to offer…and that I was so much more than I thought I was. And now, you can’t stand that I am happy and free despite everything. I see the possibilities now….that I can be free to be me. I can be free to make my own choices. Choices. Choices. Choices. I’m taking back my choice. I’m taking back my voice. I can see that I no longer have to be a victim. I can see that I no longer have to live and wallow in my victim-hood. I realize now that I can be free. I have access to all this. And now, the question isn’t “who’s going to let me, but who’s going to stop me?”
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Image Source: “breaking free” by kaiibee on DeviantArt